Ups and Downs

Christmas is looming; and I am feeling the emotional weight of this time on my shoulders. I have been very strong and disciplined for many, many months now, but I have been feeling myself getting to a breaking point. And I don't want to lose it and let it all go. I am not good at moderating what I do, and I know this. This time of year is all about over-indulging and under-exerting; that message is everywhere you turn.

I have been feeling slow, lazy and less motivated. At first I thought it was because I was not getting enough sleep. After catching up on that, I still felt blah. Last night, I decided I better just take a needed break. I have been a total diet Nazi; controlling everything I eat very, very well. So, I decided I would treat myself and get this feeling of diet oppression out of my system. I had a BBQ pork sandwich (prepared lean by Lori and on a whole wheat of course) with Cheetos! and a rum and Diet Coke. Man, I was in heaven. I treated myself, and I felt like I had totally splurged. I even had dessert, albiet a Healthy Choice ice cream bar. I thought I would be totally paying for this today, but I have felt pretty good.

I also decided to shake up my workout this morning. Instead of the strength workout I was scheduled for, I ran. Well, my interval walk/run, but to me it's a run. I was able to knock out 2.91 miles in 42:30 before I had to hit the shower and get to work. I think I may do this on Wednesdays for a while to shake things up and also to build my running strength. This discipline is by far my weakest when it comes to triathlon. As I write this, I feel rejuvinated both with my diet and exercise, and hopefully this will be the push I need to get myself through these last two, and most difficult weeks of this year.

So, I guess what I am getting at is two-fold. One, this is a difficult time to stay healthy, whether you are trying to or not. Good choices are just hard to come by; you really have to plan well and work harder to seek them out more so than normal. Try your best and remember, you're not the only one struggling in this area.

Secondly, treat yourself. When you are working so hard, and controlling your intake and making exercise a priority day in and day out, it can get tedious. Remember to treat yourself sometimes. Sometimes is the key. A treat today, shouldn't turn into another tomorrow and a couple more the next day and so on. If you are truly eating well and committed to staying active, a treat once in a while will keep you mentally satisfied and is not going to kill you in the long run. Importantly, you should treat yourself when you feel you need it. You don't want to go over the edge and binge because you have felt deprived and haven't treated yourself in too long. Take care of yourself, both physically and mentally, and you'll be successful and keep moving forward.

This is a lesson that I am practicing learning. It all rolls back around to moderation, which I am also learning. I am not a machine and I need a break sometimes. Most times, I am so scared to break, because I don't want to impede my progress. And that's because I want it NOW. But I can't have it NOW. It took me a long time to get this out of shape, and it will take me more time than NOW to get back into shape. If I practice moderation when allowing a break or treating myself, and get right back to discipline with diet and exercise, it'll be alright. I have to continue to remind myself of this.