Christmas Rewards

Merry Christmas to all the people who take the time to read my blog. I hope you have a very warm and fufulling holiday with family and friends. I am very pleased to have given myself the early gift of making my weight loss goal for 2006! I am now down to 228 pounds. I have lost 40 pounds since September 6, when I started working on this goal! My goal over the next week is to maintain my position and keep working out, although not as rigorously as to provide myself with somewhat of a "break" before the new year. I will be doing some thinking about making some new short term goals in an effort to get to my long term goal of losing 48 pounds next year by July. I'll post them after some thought.

One other Christmas reward is that my 6 year old son has finally lost his first tooth today. So it looks like Santa and the Tooth Fairy will be making a stop at our house tonight. Between these two things, it's been quite a day. And tonight is gonna be a busy one as well! Take care.

Ups and Downs

Christmas is looming; and I am feeling the emotional weight of this time on my shoulders. I have been very strong and disciplined for many, many months now, but I have been feeling myself getting to a breaking point. And I don't want to lose it and let it all go. I am not good at moderating what I do, and I know this. This time of year is all about over-indulging and under-exerting; that message is everywhere you turn.

I have been feeling slow, lazy and less motivated. At first I thought it was because I was not getting enough sleep. After catching up on that, I still felt blah. Last night, I decided I better just take a needed break. I have been a total diet Nazi; controlling everything I eat very, very well. So, I decided I would treat myself and get this feeling of diet oppression out of my system. I had a BBQ pork sandwich (prepared lean by Lori and on a whole wheat of course) with Cheetos! and a rum and Diet Coke. Man, I was in heaven. I treated myself, and I felt like I had totally splurged. I even had dessert, albiet a Healthy Choice ice cream bar. I thought I would be totally paying for this today, but I have felt pretty good.

I also decided to shake up my workout this morning. Instead of the strength workout I was scheduled for, I ran. Well, my interval walk/run, but to me it's a run. I was able to knock out 2.91 miles in 42:30 before I had to hit the shower and get to work. I think I may do this on Wednesdays for a while to shake things up and also to build my running strength. This discipline is by far my weakest when it comes to triathlon. As I write this, I feel rejuvinated both with my diet and exercise, and hopefully this will be the push I need to get myself through these last two, and most difficult weeks of this year.

So, I guess what I am getting at is two-fold. One, this is a difficult time to stay healthy, whether you are trying to or not. Good choices are just hard to come by; you really have to plan well and work harder to seek them out more so than normal. Try your best and remember, you're not the only one struggling in this area.

Secondly, treat yourself. When you are working so hard, and controlling your intake and making exercise a priority day in and day out, it can get tedious. Remember to treat yourself sometimes. Sometimes is the key. A treat today, shouldn't turn into another tomorrow and a couple more the next day and so on. If you are truly eating well and committed to staying active, a treat once in a while will keep you mentally satisfied and is not going to kill you in the long run. Importantly, you should treat yourself when you feel you need it. You don't want to go over the edge and binge because you have felt deprived and haven't treated yourself in too long. Take care of yourself, both physically and mentally, and you'll be successful and keep moving forward.

This is a lesson that I am practicing learning. It all rolls back around to moderation, which I am also learning. I am not a machine and I need a break sometimes. Most times, I am so scared to break, because I don't want to impede my progress. And that's because I want it NOW. But I can't have it NOW. It took me a long time to get this out of shape, and it will take me more time than NOW to get back into shape. If I practice moderation when allowing a break or treating myself, and get right back to discipline with diet and exercise, it'll be alright. I have to continue to remind myself of this.

My First 5K

I recruited Lori and Sienan to run this second race with me. It was the Sacramento Fleet Feet Holiday Run and it was a 5K. This was my first time doing an actual 5K. My ending time was 42:55, which was pretty good for me. That puts my pace at about a 14:20 minute mile or so. The last time I was timing things, I was hitting about a 20 minute mile, so this is a huge improvement for me. Lori hung back with Sienan as this race was longer than the last one and he just tired out. They finished about 10 minutes after me. Thanks to Lori for letting me go ahead so I could set the 5K benchmark for myself to work from in improving my time. The race was fun, and it was really cold this morning. But, no rain and I was thankful for that. The next one is on New Year's Eve so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for no rain then too. Thanks to everyone for your comments and support. As an update, I've lost a total of 4 pounds this week and I am down to 231. Woo Hoo! I haven't been down to this weight for about 1 1/2 or 2 years. Man am I excited and I feel really good.

Tip of the Day: Do something today to move your body, no matter how small. It'll make you feel better.

Inspiration

OK, I am revealing what a total pop culture junkie I am, but did anyone else follow The Biggest Loser? I've never watched this show before, mostly because I was in denial about my weight and didn't want to get depressed by watching others doing something about theirs while I wasn't. Anyways, as part of my motivational sphere of influence I have created around myself, The Biggest Loser has been a show I've enjoyed watching. I was amazed and inspired by the will and determination of some of these contestants to lose as much weight as they have. Erik, the winner, was amazing. Losing over 200 pounds!!! Watching this made me want to get up and do something. So I happily got up this morning and swam with zest. 1100 yards, putting in good effort and having a good time moving my body. The show is total pop culture junk, but there is certainly a motivating and inspiring aspect to it. Way to go you big losers! I'll be joining you soon.

Quick Update

I just wanted to put up here quickly about how it's been going. I am really psyched because the new workouts at the gym and the new challenges in the pool have been paying off for me. I have been staying off the scale for the most part at the request of my gym trainer Sharon, but I also just dont have as much time anymore. I haven't been doing my weigh-ins on such a regular basis anymore. So last night, I took a quick peek, and to my excitement, I'm down 2 more pounds to 233 and the week isn't over. I have just 5 more pounds down to 228 to reach my goal of losing 40 pounds this year. Man, it's so close I can almost taste it! I'll keep doing everything I can to keep my metabolism kicking and the fat dropping in these last few weeks of the year.

Update

Going well, just pretty tired. Life is starting to get in the way for me but I refuse to compromise with my exercise. Exercise has been going well nevertheless. Today was swimming and I swam my first 500(continuous yardage). It was tough. Afterwards, I sprinted a 50 twice and got :54 and :53. Yay. I'm very proud of my progress with swimming. The gym workout is also going well. I've adjusted to it somewhat and I'm not in as much pain. As days go by, I'm feeling stronger and stronger. At work, on each break I've also been going walking. Just doing whatever I can so that I don't feel so sedentary now that I have a deskjob again.

My body is changing steadily. Alot of my clothes are becoming too big and that's just great. I'm trying to wear my new work clothes as much as possible, because they aren't going to last much longer at this rate.

The Emotional Struggle Of My Journey

Yesterday when I was swimming during my workout, it just hit me how much I have changed in the last few months, and I love it. I am not talking about my pant size here. Something inside me has changed. I have spent a lot of time writing about exercise and time or distance, weight, whatever. What I haven't spent a whole lot of time on is the emotional journey I am going through. I tend to hold this kind of thing very close and don't advertise it a whole lot.

This all started a few months ago when I was inspired to seriously lose weight and work towards competing in a triathlon. But this experience is really changing who I am as a person. This weight loss journey has been a segway into much more than I initially anticipated. I have just been changing so much as a person and it feels so good. In the past, I had spent a long time hiding behind excuses and fears and my size. Telling myself that I can't do a particular thing because I was too out of shape, or too inexperienced or too whatever. I have historically had a problem with goal setting and this really played into my past failures. I was afraid to fail and therefore afraid to try at all. I created a person that I didn't like being. And through the weight loss journey, without trying to change or fix anything else intentionally, somehow it is all falling into place. I am building my goal setting skills. I am building confidence. I am happier. I am motivated and positive. I am starting to feel like a whole new person inside and out and it is really amazing.

I have been listening to Dave O from Zap120 alot lately and I think I need to stop holding back on this part of my journey. There are alot of feelings attached to this process and they aren't all the good ones that I normally share. Fatigue, frustration, impatience, self doubt, dips in confidence, self consciousness, anger, futility. These all go through my mind at different times during this process and I am just learning how I can best deal with them and stay positive and getting better and better at it as time goes on.

I am really enjoying the change my body is going through. Truthfully, it can't happen fast enough. I have always played off the fact that I was fat. I would tell myself I don't care, or it doesn't bother me, or I'm not that fat or that unhealthy. But I was lying to myself. I was watching the Biggest Loser last night and I realized, like Erik, I am sad being fat. In fact, I hate it. On my previous attempts at weight loss, I don't know what it was, but I didn't have it. No weight loss mojo or whatever. This time, I am committed. And I have engaged every possible person I come across to pull them in as support. It helps me keep my chin up and keep me focused and accountable during those moments of fatigue and struggle. Thank you all for helping me become a new me.

Ending update: I am now up to 33 pounds lost! I have 7 more pounds to lose and I will have met my goal of losing 40 pounds this year. With my new workout and my commitment to my diet and exercise, I should get there no problem. I stopped watching the scale so much, partly because I was told not to by my trainer, and partly because my schedule has changed and I am so busy. I have noticed my clothes are fitting much differently. I actually sighed relief that a pair of new pants shrank in the wash so I could wear them longer.

Keep Moving!

Well, I dragged my booty back to the gym today to keep working on the workout that Sharon gave me now that I actually have control of my limbs again and I don't limp with pain. This time I didn't get to the point of vomiting, so I guess I'm improving. It was a good workout although I felt some discomfort in my right pec, so I eased up on those exercises. I had a little diet breakdown yesterday and had Mac and Cheese for dinner and a Hershey bar after with some nuts. Not totally bad, but I just needed to chew on food rather than sucking it through a straw and I just needed a sweet fix. Hopefully it doesn't set me too far back; it shouldn't.

Swimming was good yesterday. Working on the distance still. Trish says Thursday we'll start doing some sprinting and timing with 50 yards. Should be challenging. I will probably only work out 2 more days this week, which is cutting it one short for me. I had my first of two A+ certification tests on Monday and then next tomorrow. I passed on Monday with flying colors, and I have my fingers crossed for tomorrow. I've been jammin' away at my new job as well, learning a new software. This, of course, required a total schedule change in my life. I am really committed to working out though, and getting up at 5:30 to make it to the gym doesn't seem unreasonable to me at all. All the extra studying and demands on my time in conjunction with the new, challenging workout are just zapping me. But, if I take one more day off this week, I should be able to be back up to normal speed next week. Ahhh, next week, can't wait to get there and things calm down a bit...

On the last note, Dave O at Zap120 has had some really inspiring things going on in his podcasts lately, as well as Scott with Motivation to Move. Thank you both for what you do. And if you, dear reader, need some motivation and inspiration, check these two out. Cheers!

Our First Race!

Sienan and I went downtown this morning to participate in the MaraFunRun as part of the California International Marathon activities. This was the first race for both of us. It was very exciting. The morning was cold, but it turned out to be great weather for running. Or in our case, jogging and walking. Sienan had a great time, which is what I was shooting for. He swears that next time we should relay the whole marathon and he can surely run 6 miles. I know he had a good time because he got tired and started struggling after about 6 blocks, but in the end, next year he plans to run 6 miles in a relay. :o) I also had a great time. It was my first ever experience with a race and it was a good one. We ended up taking around 33minutes for the 2.62 miles. We hung around after our run and watched the exciting finish of the full marathon. It was very cool and inspiring. I have two more little races that I plan on attending this year and Sienan wants to go to. Maybe we're onto something here... Hope everyone had a great weekend. Ciao.

Another Milestone; And I Can't Believe It!

Well, I planned my Thanksgiving all out to try and stay ahead of the weight gain possibilities and offset it and I succeeded. Yay for me. But, I also slowed down in progress and plateaued a little bit, not gaining, but not losing either. I got a little down on it for a few days, but I stuck with working out and eating right, even though I was straying from my Beginner Triathlete plan because I was bored with the bike. So much biking.

Anyways, I got a job, rather suddenly, and that has kept me very busy and I have not had much time. I also have my first test for the A+ certification coming on Monday, so I have really been stretched to the max and just trying to hang in there with all this change and fluxuation. I haven't been watching my weight or been as focused on tri, just trying to continue working out and eating right. Lori and I had our first meeting with our personal trainer, Sharon, this past Thursday. Part of the Club membership includes a trainer to work with you towards fitness. In our case, she has been pretty flexible with tailoring our program to our strengths, weaknesses and goals. She has been awesome so far. I discussed my plateau with her and she said that likely it is time to shake it up. My body is used to what I have been doing, and it's tapering off in weightloss because there's not any more challenge.

So, we went in this morning to start on a different routine of strength training to get the body shocked again and started into significant weight loss progress. I am rejuvenated and excited with a new workout. It was very humbling though. I had a hard time today with things I thought would be much easier. They were probably not much harder, just different. We started out with a 10 minute cardio warmup getting to our target heart rate. Mine happens to be 145-155 for weight loss and 155-165 for aerobic. We then did a full body workout that logically worked muscles in a complimentary way. The whole thing should take 45 minutes. I ended up getting really nauseous from working so hard. I had to leave the workout floor, go to the locker room and cool off with the blow dryer on cool and just sit for a bit. I seriously thought I was going to hurl. But, as soon as I cooled down, I went right back out and finished. A very humbling reminder that the war of my weight loss is not over, the first battle was won and its time to continue the fight. I have decided to change my workout in the week to the following:

Mondays: 10min cardio warmup, strength training
Tuesdays: swimming
Wednesdays: 10 min cardio warmup, strength training
Thursdays: swimming
Fridays: 10 min cardio warmup, strength training
Saturday OR Sunday: bike riding around Lake Natoma

I'll be following this for the next month or two until it is time for a change again.

So, moving onto milestones. I really hadn't been paying attention to the scale, because I didn't want anymore disappointing news after the Thanksgiving plateau. And I was just way too busy. Well, I checked in yesterday, and again this morning to verify it. I have lost 4 pounds this week. That takes my total weight loss to date to 31 POUNDS!! So, I have passed the 30 pound milestone. My goal this year was to lose 40 pounds, so I am going to keep on plugging away and see if I can do it. I still have 4 more weeks within which to give it a shot.